Santa Claus @ Golden Fleece, Chelmsford: Christmas 2011

Santa Claus @ Golden Fleece, Chelmsford: Christmas 2011

Video Clips. Duration : 12.20 Mins.

Santa Claus @ Golden Fleece, Chelmsford: Christmas 2011
Comedian Robert Chapel gets hideously drunk, throws on a £30 Santa costume and does his best to ruin everybody's Christmas by ridiculing children's letters, revealing his allegiances with the North Pole National Front and debuting a horrifying new carol. Lyrics to 'Giftz' as per request (Give or take a line or two. As I said: very drunk): I make gifts Not the public I tell the head elves what to make Understand? Pimp sled, Fed feared, red nose reindeer Hittin' roofs like Assassin's Creed man, that's clear I been getting plenty Christmas action off the birds, G And I don't mean the dead ones rotting down your chimney Bitches need Santa like a sick kid needs a kidney Chicks see the sleigh and scream 'Santa, put it in me' Santa get 'em bolly, voddy, jolly Leave 'em rolling round Asda car park in a trolley Christmas Eve, there's gonna be a motherfucking crisis I'm about to cross you motherfuckers off my nice list No gifts, kids are gonna fit like epileptics More space in your stockings than an anorexic If I see another mince pie You'll be picking 'em out the ashes of a house fire Better get me better munch man, 'cause if I ain't dazzled Santa gonna shine a cunt, Lapland vajazzle Don't say Santa didn't ever warn ya Swear down I told ya Don't cross the line, don't make me have to coal ya Don't say Santa didn't ever warn ya No man'll mourn ya All you Father Christmas fakers and you costumed parents You ain't even got a sleigh, you make no fucking effort And all you store Santas ...
Santa Claus @ Golden Fleece, Chelmsford: Christmas 2011

Santa Claus @ Golden Fleece, Chelmsford: Christmas 2011

Santa Claus @ Golden Fleece, Chelmsford: Christmas 2011

Santa Claus @ Golden Fleece, Chelmsford: Christmas 2011